I've learned so many things and have grown up
in so many ways as a result of my new life with Asher.
I think any of
you reading should be able to relate to what I share about marriage, no matter
what your life circumstance is. Whether you are married or single or divorced,
content or lonely, hopeful or brokenly disappointed... (Be sure He loves you.
He deeply and relentlessly loves you...), no matter our life circumstance the
number one call for all of our lives is to learn love. Whether that is with a
husband, our families, or God the lessons of love that we gain through one of
these relationships can be applied to all of them. You are not left out of the
school of love. When you hear of another persons life lesson try to apply it to
a relevant relationship in your life. When I talk about loving our husbands
better, but you are not married consider how to love your mother better or
members in your church.
When beginning
marriage, all at once you are made to face your own selfishness and see every
hidden flaw. And all at once your heart is feeling healing and wholeness that
it never knew it needed. There are levels of peace that my spirit never knew
existed and there have also been areas of fear and sin that I never knew I had
hidden. Asher and I are overwhelmed with happiness in our marriage yet even
with that being true we often marvel at how people do marriage without God. It
seems like such a difficult and complex thing, so much so at times that it
seems like only God can bring the supernatural solutions that are so
desperately needed.
I remember once,
only a few weeks into our marriage Asher and I were just stuck. I had nothing
else to argue and he had nothing else to argue but the argument was not
resolved. The frustration and selfishness and sin was still between us. I
wanted to lock myself in a room and cry but Asher could hear Gods whisper. He
told him to pray. We held hands and prayed and God told us the most amazing
truth through our praying. It is the three of us against one enemy. After our
talking with God there was only peace and forgiveness and laughter and
gentleness. It was supernatural and spiritual and so good in a way that only
God can make something good.
In any sorting
through or working something out we often voice that it is not me against
Asher, it is not something that he did to me or I did to him, it isn't pointing
fingers or placing blame. It is the enemy trying to put a wedge between one of the
most powerful instruments that God has on earth, marriage. The enemy will use
our insecurities, he will use our annoyances, our sin, our lack of gentleness
or sensitivity. He will pull on any and every dark thing in us that he can find
in order to put distance between a married couple. As a single person you get
this in milder doses with your family members, friends, and church. If you are
willing and obedient you will get it in stronger doses when God asks you to be
faithful to those that are difficult to love or enjoy. The enemy will pull on
every ungodly thing in you to tear the relationship apart, but God will use the
enemies pulling to make you more like Him.
This is why
marriage is so hard for couples. It is not because either person is unlovable
or hard to live with. We all may struggle with sin and selfishness, but Jesus
still loves us and wants us to live with Him for Eternity. If we can see that
it is the enemy who is trying to tear us down and not our spouse then we will
find more victory in our conflicts. If we push to love each other the way Jesus
loves us, then what can come between us? Our sin and idiosyncrasies certainly
don't change the way Jesus loves and pursues us. Neither should our spouses sin
or weaknesses change the way we love them.
Oh how I love
that God works all things for our good. Do you know what he does with all of
satan's attacks in marriage? He walks us through our sin so that we can rid
ourselves of it and become more like him, more free and alive in love. This is
nothing we can't do on our own, we have to humble ourselves enough to seek God,
even after we feel we've done everything we possibly can do to fix it ourselves,
we must ask God to help bring His will into the situation. When Asher and I see
a bit of selfishness in ourselves and we work through it and soon learn to rid
our lives of it, we feel so much peace. We are happy and our marriage is happy.
This is what God does. This is why he hates sin. Sin tears down spouses, it
rips apart families, it darkens our lives. But righteousness, which is found
only in humility in receiving his blood, sets us free. His righteousness brings
our feet to dancing, our hearts to singing, and our relationships to purer and
purer love.
How Glorious! In
order to experience the fullness of love and life in our relationships we must walk them out
with God. And God is the fullness of everything, the joy giver, the peace bringer, the promise maker, best friend, savior, husband, and king. How kind of Him to draw us to Himself.
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