Transitions- Abased or Abounding

A few days ago I was walking to my home alongside a gentle breeze surrounded by green and life and color. I looked up to the blue sky and said in my heart "Oh I'm so happy."

I then felt my heart fearfully grope for and cling onto that happiness. All at once I discovered hidden in my heart so much fear. I was so afraid of loosing that happiness. I've experienced a number of lows in my life, a number of precious losses. At one point I found myself so free from the joys of life that I could not have been more abandoned to this world, I was high with joy not from earth. Constantly I was anticipating eternity. Eternity held the only good thing to me and so I was full even in my emptiness. As nonsensical as that sounds its true. I think life often works like this. When we are lacking in the natural, when we have pain in our heart, we have a rare opportunity to find more of Gods joy and contentment. And there is nothing in all of creation that is like His joy and contentment.

Concerning the season I am in now, I am overflowing with natural blessings and earthly joys. Which makes it surprising for me to find such a strong stumbling block of fear in my heart. Isn't that interesting? All the blessing and joy that I've found in marriage and in life here in India has brought with it a fear. Oh how deeply I fear loss. But The Lord is helping me to release it and to find that place of freedom that is found so beautifully in trusting Him.

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This morning a song played from my shuffling music player called "Faithful to the End" by Misty Edwards. Here is the prayer she prays at the very end of that song. I think there is something very powerful in this song concerning how to best deal with life's transitions and difficulties. I also think this prayer is a good one to pray when we found our lives full of blessings and joys.

"Faithful to the End"- Misty Edwards:

"Oh He loves me to the end. Jesus the faithful witness. You were faithful to the death. You were faithful to the end. You loved me even to the end. Oh God make us faithful, make us overcomers as you have overcome. To the end. We want to be faithful to you, even to the end. Loving not our lives, even to the end, even unto death. We want to be equally yoked with you Jesus. Equally yoked in love. In loving you to the end just as you love us to the end. You are the faithful witness. Let us love you this way God. Let us love you more than we love this life. Let us love you to the end. Even to the death."

 If we abandon ourselves and not only trust that He is faithful to us but also promise our faithfulness to Him, then no disappointment or sorrow could ever steal our life. After all, our life is found in death.

And if we can be happiest with that… with His will not our own, then we can truly throw ourselves into Him and find life regardless of our painful circumstances. Whether we are abased or abounding, through a love of Him we will be able to lay down our life into sacrifice and we will find that only there is it overflowing.

Thank You God for Asher, for this life, I'm so blessed and I know that You find so much pleasure in blessing me... but you can take it away. You gave me life, you can take it away. You can take away my happiness. I want your will..or if I'm honest I think the better way to say it is that I WANT to want your will. Yes. God I do. Whatever future events will create the most glory for You in my life, that is what I want. If that means I loose everything and everyone and am left to wonder the streets and pray, then do it. This life is yours. I don't want to cling to happiness as if it is my right, as if I deserve it.

-Your Blessed One